Sexuality and intimacy are complex processes influenced by many factors beyond
just libido or arousal issues. Chronic stress and unresolved past traumas, even those unrelated to sexuality, can impact one's sexual well-being as much as they can affect sleep, digestion, and cognitive function.
Thus, focusing solely on sexual factors might not always yield results when dealing with sexual issues.
Addressing nervous system dysregulation caused by chronic stress and trauma
is fundamental to achieving healthy sexuality.
Only when the nervous system feels safe does it seek creativity and connection, which we recognize as arousal and pleasure.
Healing intimacy and sexuality
on the nervous system level
Thanks to rapidly advancing neuroscience, we are uncovering the nervous system's vital role in regulating our basic functions—including breathing, heart rate, circulation, and internal organ functions, including the sexual function.
Sexuality is a complex system influenced by multiple factors, including physiology, survival instincts, emotional states, and the nervous system. Even non-sexual adverse events and traumas can impact the sexual function.
By utilizing Somatic Experiencing® , somatic psychotherapy, gestalt therapy, and tantra methods, I help clients address their sexuality issues on all levels.
I work with both single-event traumas
and developmental traumas, which stem from unmet emotional and relational needs in childhood.
I assist clients in the following:
Completing trauma cycles
at the physical, emotional,
and nervous system levels.
Developing nervous system resilience
through co-regulation
and self-regulation.
Healing numbness and disassociation
expanding the nervous system's capacity to feel sensations and developing somatic safety.
Healing from toxic relationships
by learning to feel safe in safe environments and with safe people.
Overcoming sexual dysfunctions,
and feelings of shame,
numbness, and pain.
Cultivating a deeper connection
with oneself and a partner
for fulfilling intimacy and sexuality.
Healing chronic stress and trauma on the body and mind levels
Trauma is not about an event itself but about its impact on a person's ability to cope with everyday challenges.
When we experience trauma, our brain can become fixated on trying to protect us from past danger. The nervous system fails to differentiate between past, current, and imagined situations. Even years after
a traumatic event, the brain might still trigger
fight-flight-freeze responses as if the danger is still present. This process causes us to focus on unpleasant sensations to motivate defense, leading to negative thinking, anxiety, heightened sensitivity, and overthinking.
Pleasant experiences and sensations can become inaccessible due to the brain's need to protect itself. When the traumatic cycle remains incomplete and stress hormones flood the bloodstream, pleasant sensations are difficult to access.
In such cases, practices that aim to stimulate pleasant sensations, like tantric massage, can be ineffective because they contradict the brain's defensive pursuit.
When arousal conflicts with the critical fight-or-flight
survival response, the system may suppress feelings
of pleasure and trigger sexual dysfunction.
Therefore, it's important to establish the right order when addressing sexual challenges
that are rooted in trauma and stress.
If you've tried:
sex toys,
watching pornography,
tantra classes,
sensuality practices,
sexual coaching,
tantric massage
and still feel stuck,
you might first need to
regulate your nervous system to feel safe enoughto explore further.
It's always better to work with the body's natural protective instincts rather than against them. This is why it’s more effective to apply a bottom-up approach to healing sexuality
before a top-down one.
Both approaches are important.
Disconnection from yourself is often a major symptom of trauma and chronic stress, both of which can directly impact sexuality, as good sex relies on connection and safety.
Many clients approach me because they feel disconnected from themselves and their pleasure during sexual activity. Often, in their efforts to please their partners, they lose touch with their reality.
Before we can connect with others, we must connect with ourselves.
This is where nervous system regulation tools are useful.
Before connecting with our arousal and sexuality, we first need to connect with our bodies and instincts.
THE MOST COMMON ISSUES MY CLIENTS SEE ME FOR:
Emotional Difficulties
Performance anxiety leading to
a poor or non-existent sex life.
Overpleasing partners
at the expense of one's pleasure.
Fear of intimacy and closeness.
Sexual shame
A tendency to choose toxic relationships.
Attachment disorders, including anxious, avoidant, or ambivalent attachment styles.
Being stuck in relationships
that don’t satisfy sexual
or emotional needs.
Sexual
Dysfunctions
Erection issues for men, including premature ejaculation,
erectile dysfunction,
and delayed ejaculation.
Libido issues for men and women, including inconsistent libido
and a lack of sexual desire.
A lack of pleasurable sensations during intercourse for women.
Difficulty accessing orgasm
for women and men.
Vaginismus and other neurological conditions preventing the enjoyment of intercourse.
Prostatitis and other inflammatory conditions in men.
Overcoming
Trauma
Healing from past sexual experiences that impact current sexual interactions.
Sexual abuse and assault.
Difficulty understanding and asserting boundaries in sexuality and relationships.
Developmental arrests that prevent trust-building and feelings of safety in relationships.
Addictions to sex, pornography, relationships.
Difficulty building meaningful
social contacts, including
romantic ones.
If intimacy and sexuality are challenging for you, working with me is a good place to begin your healing journey.
Ways to work with me:
TALKING SESSIONS
In-Person and Online
Somatic Experiencing
Somatic Therapy
Sexual Coaching
Couple Counselling
-
60 min. (single session) - £100.
-
60 min. (6 sessions package) - £450 (£75 per session).
Validity 12 weeks.
-
90 min. (single session) - £130.
-
90 min. (4 sessions package) - £570, (£95 per session)
Validity 12 weeks.
TOUCH SESSIONS
In-Person
in My Current Location
Somatic Experiencing, Conscious Touch
-
60 min. (single session) - £100.
-
60 min. (6 sessions package) - £450 (£75 per session).
Validity 12 weeks.
-
90 min. (single session) - £130.
-
90 min. (4 sessions package) - £570, (£95 per session)
Validity 12 weeks.
TANTRA BODYWORK
In-Person
in My Current Location
Tantric Massage Therapy
Tantric Healing
Pelvic Floor Therapy
Tantric Massage Teaching
For Tantric massage sessions focused on sexual healing and therapeutic pelvic floor sessions, please refer to this page.
How to proceed?
Book 30 min. complimentary call
to discuss your case.
Book a first session to start your healing.
